A recent study found that almost a quarter of millennials and Gen Z report that they don’t want children. When asked why, reasons included financial freedom, hobbies, lifestyle choices, climate change, or that they just didn’t want to.
I am a first-time mom and fall in the middle of Gen Z. When my husband and I announced we were expecting, many of our friends were shocked. We received comments such as “You are so young. Are you worried about your marriage?” and “Do you feel like you have traveled enough?” and “Enjoy your freedom and sleep now!” Many of these came from Gen Zers who did not have children yet.
In a conversation with a friend, she expressed she did not want children until all her boxes were checked. She wanted to travel, buy her dream home, and work in her career for several years. Once those were complete, she and her husband might have children. “Frankly,” she shared with me, “I don’t even know if I want kids. It just sounds miserable.” My heart broke for her.
I can’t help but wonder if this distaste for having children is a symptom of something deeper.
I don’t think the main issue here is Gen Z or millennials not wanting kids. I think they have fallen prey to Satan’s lie that comfort, ease, money, and freedom will leave them feeling fulfilled and happy. When, actually, chasing those things will never satisfy or save their souls.
If you are a Gen Z or Millennial who is also a parent, you have the unique opportunity to point your friends to the Savior by the way you live out the calling of raising children. We can show a lost generation that true life is not found in chasing after our own desires but rather in chasing hard after Jesus Christ. In him we find purpose and joy that can satisfy us to our core. What better way to demonstrate this truth than by being a parent who loves their children as Christ loves us.
So, how do we live?
1. Choose to speak highly of children.
There is certainly a place to share the hard parts of parenting and be honest with friends about the trials we are facing. However, if all we share are the horror stories of parenting or the negative thoughts we have towards our children, we lose the opportunity to show them how good God is towards us and how he can save them too.
Our Heavenly Father is not in heaven complaining about all the annoying things we do. Quite the opposite. God delights in us, loves and enjoys us, and wants to spend time with us. He adores us.
There are a thousand things about me that are not pleasant. However, I have a Heavenly Father who holds me close and declares that I am his. Imagine the powerful message we will send to a watching world if we speak about our children in a way that reflects the unwavering love of God.
2. Welcome your unbelieving friends in.
Invite your unbelieving friends into your home. Let them watch you serve dinner as you deal with a toddler tantrum. Let them see you care for your baby while you ask them questions about their day. Let them see the messiness of your living room but also the joy on your face. Welcome them into what your life looks like as a believer with children. Show them the immense joy that co-exists in the chaos as you serve your family and sacrifice your freedom on behalf of the life you are cultivating in your home.
3. Cling to the Word of God.
There are days that I long for a break and time away. Let’s be honest, being a mom is one of the hardest jobs out there! In the moments where I feel weak, I must turn to the Word of God and remind myself that a self-care day (although wonderful) will not solve my problems. I need the Lord and the refreshing truth of the words he wrote for me. I can forget so quickly that my life’s goal is not to live an easy life but to live a life marked by sacrifice for the sake of my Savior. The truth of God’s Word is a lifeline when the lies of the world sound so good.
Gen Z and Millennial moms and dads, be unashamed and bold. Be a parent in a lost generation that has forgotten the tremendous joy found in the work of raising children. Let the world wonder why you have sacrificed your autonomy, career, money, and travel plans to love on the children God has given you. You have the opportunity to display the wonder of the gospel through your role as a mom or dad. Don’t waste it.
