School projects. Presentations. Tryouts. Who will I sit with at lunch? Finals. Sports. Volunteer hours. Do my friends actually like me? Studying. Speeches. Where do I want to go to college? The SAT. Driving hours. Where will I work this summer?
Is your heart starting to race? Now imagine trying to tackle all of these at fifteen years old.
The lives of middle and high school students are full of anxiety-producing situations. Odds are, if you have a teen in your home or life, you have seen them experience some level of anxiety. Right now, teens are experiencing higher levels of anxiety than any other generation. Their anxiety might stem from social situations, pressure to perform, or uncertainty about the future. Maybe they feel like they have to be perfect. Or maybe life feels so overwhelming that they don’t want to try at all.
So, how can you come alongside an anxious teen in your life?
1. Help them apply the gospel
The reality that teens are struggling with anxiety at such high rates might be discouraging or even intimidating. However, as believers, we know that God uses every struggle, pain, and suffering to deepen our faith and understanding of him. God loves your anxious teen and desires him or her to experience the deep peace that comes from knowing him and walking with him. Helping teens learn to apply timeless truths about God’s character and the gospel will equip them to battle anxiety long term.
For a teen whose anxiety stems from perfectionism, this could be helping them understand that they are not perfect, will never be perfect, and that it’s okay not to be. They have a perfect, holy Savior who died in their place so that they might be free from sin, shame, and guilt and so that they can experience the freedom found only in him. This means that it’s okay when they don’t do well on a test or they make a mistake in a game or an audition. There is grace available every moment of the day. God holds their future in his hands, and nothing they do or don’t do will change the fact that God is in control. A teen prone to perfectionism can find great freedom in the gospel and the character of God.
For a teen who struggles with social anxiety, the gospel can move their heart from fearing man to beholding the power and authority of God. For teens (and many of us), the high importance placed on the opinions of peers and other people can cause crippling anxiety. The gospel can alleviate this burden by showing them that God has the final say and authority in all things and that what he says about them is the only thing that matters. God defeated sin and death so that they might know him. He is immensely more powerful than any peer or person they interact with. As God’s creation, they have value, worth, and dignity. This value does not come from how they dress, how much they achieve, how they look, how cool they are, or how many friends they have. Their identity is set in stone by the most powerful one of all.
2. Be a role model for them
How do the teens in your life see you handle anxiety? Do they watch you struggle faithfully with the Lord? Do they see you bringing your fears to him and trusting him with the outcome? These are hard questions, but they matter deeply. You are giving your teen a picture of how to face anxiety—whether you realize it or not.
One of the best ways to help them is by nurturing your own soul. Get into God’s Word. Bring your burdens to him in prayer. Let him minister to you so you can minister to others. Fill your mind with truth so you can speak life into the hearts of the teens around you.
Teens don’t need perfect role models. They need humble ones—people who struggle faithfully and love Jesus deeply.
3. Get them extra help
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. The anxious teen in your life might benefit from meeting with someone and getting extra care. Through our Soul Care Ministry at College Park, we offer counseling for students. Our counselors are eager and willing to come alongside them in whatever challenges they are facing.
Helping our teens understand the gospel and how to apply God’s Word to their lives is one of the most helpful things we can teach them. Their anxiety may never “go away” entirely. However, their struggle can tether them to the gospel and deepen their love of Jesus as they experience his peace firsthand.
Request counseling through Soul Care at College Park
